1 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,053 I understand we all have busy lives. 2 00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:13,553 Sometimes you miss an episode for the little things in life, 3 00:00:13,636 --> 00:00:14,803 like a heart transplant 4 00:00:14,887 --> 00:00:17,511 or a multiple murder in the family, 5 00:00:17,595 --> 00:00:20,095 but there should be no damn reason on Earth 6 00:00:20,179 --> 00:00:22,179 that I have to tell you what you missed last week 7 00:00:22,262 --> 00:00:23,511 on "Shameless." 8 00:00:23,595 --> 00:00:25,511 Hmm. 9 00:00:25,595 --> 00:00:27,470 Do we really need a piece of paper 10 00:00:27,553 --> 00:00:29,220 from the state to say that I'm committed? 11 00:00:29,304 --> 00:00:30,345 I'm committed. 12 00:00:30,429 --> 00:00:32,053 Maybe one day I will want to get married, 13 00:00:32,137 --> 00:00:34,429 but in the meantime, I love you. 14 00:00:34,511 --> 00:00:36,137 I'm not saying never. 15 00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:38,304 No, you're saying you don't love me enough now. 16 00:00:52,345 --> 00:00:54,137 Can I impose on you to do me a favor? 17 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,179 - Of course. What? - Great. 18 00:00:56,262 --> 00:00:58,345 Um, can you pick Julia up after school? 19 00:00:58,429 --> 00:01:00,803 - Julia? - My kid. 20 00:01:00,887 --> 00:01:03,511 I decided you might just be interesting after all. 21 00:01:07,095 --> 00:01:08,845 Oh, I'm sorry. 22 00:01:08,928 --> 00:01:10,553 That was not cool. 23 00:01:15,803 --> 00:01:18,304 Let's just say you are overqualified for this group. 24 00:01:18,387 --> 00:01:20,720 I think I've got somewhere better suited for your talent. 25 00:01:20,803 --> 00:01:21,845 The academy, sir? 26 00:01:21,928 --> 00:01:24,053 How do you feel about trash? 27 00:01:24,137 --> 00:01:27,636 Now that you remember exactly how you destroyed Kyle's life, 28 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,595 I can get on with making you pay for it. 29 00:01:29,678 --> 00:01:31,678 Filling me full of Oxy? 30 00:01:31,761 --> 00:01:34,678 Mm, I need you in an opioid coma, 31 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,345 but not, you know, dead. 32 00:03:28,761 --> 00:03:31,012 Sir, step out of the car. 33 00:03:43,678 --> 00:03:46,220 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 34 00:03:46,304 --> 00:03:48,137 - Hey. 35 00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:50,012 Tami. 36 00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:52,636 Tam. Tami, Tami, here, it's your phone. 37 00:03:53,761 --> 00:03:55,928 Hey. Hey. 38 00:03:56,012 --> 00:03:57,220 Hey, handsome. 39 00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,887 Oh, good morning. 40 00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:01,012 Ah. 41 00:04:01,095 --> 00:04:02,345 What's the emergency? 42 00:04:02,429 --> 00:04:03,553 Salon run out of hair dye? 43 00:04:03,636 --> 00:04:07,511 No, it's my family group text. 44 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,720 Dad wants us home for a family meeting. 45 00:04:09,803 --> 00:04:11,345 "Us," like you and your sisters? 46 00:04:11,429 --> 00:04:14,262 "Us," like you, too. 47 00:04:14,345 --> 00:04:16,803 You're a baby daddy, so you're a Tamietti now. 48 00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:18,429 Oh. 49 00:04:18,511 --> 00:04:20,429 You're going. 50 00:04:22,678 --> 00:04:24,636 Do-do-do-do-do-do. 51 00:04:27,553 --> 00:04:29,012 Here you go. 52 00:04:29,095 --> 00:04:30,137 - An omelet with... - Oh. 53 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,928 Asparagus, mushrooms, 54 00:04:32,012 --> 00:04:33,387 and cheese from a goat. 55 00:04:33,470 --> 00:04:35,761 Sounds weird, but it's actually pretty good. 56 00:04:35,845 --> 00:04:37,511 You're amazing. 57 00:04:37,595 --> 00:04:39,220 It's just an omelet. 58 00:04:39,304 --> 00:04:41,470 It's beautiful. 59 00:04:41,553 --> 00:04:43,095 You're beautiful. 60 00:04:44,678 --> 00:04:46,387 I love having you around. 61 00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:49,053 I love being around. 62 00:04:49,137 --> 00:04:50,304 Gonna hop in the shower. 63 00:04:50,387 --> 00:04:51,720 Sounds good, honey. 64 00:04:55,970 --> 00:04:57,387 Mmm. 65 00:05:00,304 --> 00:05:02,220 Uh, I'm gonna go call home real quick, 66 00:05:02,304 --> 00:05:03,179 just to check on Franny. 67 00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:04,636 - Okay. - Be right back. 68 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:05,636 Okay. 69 00:05:22,845 --> 00:05:24,012 Jesus Christ. 70 00:05:24,095 --> 00:05:25,970 You're never gonna fix the fucking thing, Byron. 71 00:05:26,053 --> 00:05:28,970 No one that rides a Vespa can fix anything. 72 00:05:29,053 --> 00:05:31,761 Something happen to your little bike thingy? 73 00:05:31,845 --> 00:05:32,887 Yeah. 74 00:05:32,970 --> 00:05:34,220 It's a Vespa, and... 75 00:05:34,304 --> 00:05:35,928 it stopped working all of a sudden. 76 00:05:36,012 --> 00:05:37,012 Oh, weird. 77 00:05:37,095 --> 00:05:38,220 What the hell are you doing here? 78 00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,636 I came to drop off some of the stuff 79 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,553 you left at my place. 80 00:05:41,636 --> 00:05:42,720 That it? 81 00:05:42,803 --> 00:05:44,179 And I was hoping that we could talk. 82 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,429 In private. 83 00:05:46,511 --> 00:05:48,012 You know, anything you got to say to me, 84 00:05:48,095 --> 00:05:51,553 you can say in front of the... love of my life, Byron. 85 00:05:54,511 --> 00:05:55,387 Mickey. 86 00:05:57,845 --> 00:05:58,887 Okay. 87 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:02,220 - It was a mistake coming. - Yeah. 88 00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:05,720 Hey, Ian, 89 00:06:05,803 --> 00:06:07,887 you want to come check out a show tomorrow? 90 00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:09,137 Jesus Christ. 91 00:06:09,220 --> 00:06:11,304 Read the fucking room, Byron. 92 00:06:11,387 --> 00:06:13,511 - Show? - Yeah. 93 00:06:13,595 --> 00:06:15,970 It's the Imperial Mammoth. 94 00:06:16,053 --> 00:06:17,387 I don't know if you've heard about them. 95 00:06:17,470 --> 00:06:20,137 They're--they're, like, my favorite band right now. 96 00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:22,803 Wait. Wait, yeah, yeah. 97 00:06:22,887 --> 00:06:25,387 They're the, uh, the hipster shit 98 00:06:25,470 --> 00:06:27,803 with the suspenders and the--the harp 99 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,304 and all that, huh? 100 00:06:29,387 --> 00:06:30,720 Yeah, you're going to that? 101 00:06:30,803 --> 00:06:32,928 I can get you on the list, too. 102 00:06:33,012 --> 00:06:35,095 I mean, I don't know if you need a plus-one or whatever-- 103 00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:36,803 Nah, no. He don't need a plus-one. 104 00:06:36,887 --> 00:06:39,595 Trust me, he's got a lot of, uh, what'd you say, 105 00:06:39,678 --> 00:06:41,304 "personal work" you needed to do 106 00:06:41,387 --> 00:06:43,928 before you'd be ready to play the field? 107 00:06:44,928 --> 00:06:46,595 No. No. 108 00:06:46,678 --> 00:06:49,970 Uh, actually, 109 00:06:50,053 --> 00:06:51,761 I just took a page out of your playbook 110 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:54,095 and attached myself to the first swinging dick I saw. 111 00:06:54,179 --> 00:06:56,304 We barely know each other, but, pfft... 112 00:06:56,387 --> 00:06:58,553 man, it has been a fairy tale so far. 113 00:06:58,636 --> 00:07:00,179 It's actually why I came here 114 00:07:00,262 --> 00:07:01,345 is, uh... 115 00:07:01,429 --> 00:07:02,803 Looks like we both moved on, 116 00:07:02,887 --> 00:07:05,345 so no reason for things to be awkward, right? 117 00:07:05,429 --> 00:07:07,761 Congrats. 118 00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,553 Yeah, it all happened so fast, 119 00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:12,095 but when you know, you know. 120 00:07:12,179 --> 00:07:13,137 Right? 121 00:07:20,970 --> 00:07:22,220 Liam Gallagher. 122 00:07:27,678 --> 00:07:29,595 - Sit down. 123 00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:37,553 We don't have current proof of residency on file for you. 124 00:07:37,636 --> 00:07:39,220 - So? - So... 125 00:07:39,304 --> 00:07:40,511 how are we supposed to know you ain't committing fraud 126 00:07:40,595 --> 00:07:41,803 so you can go to this school? 127 00:07:41,887 --> 00:07:43,220 You think someone would commit fraud 128 00:07:43,304 --> 00:07:44,803 to attend this shithole? 129 00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:47,053 My job is tied to how much paperwork is completed 130 00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:48,553 and how many files are current, 131 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,553 so if your dad, Francis Gallagher, 132 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,970 could just bring us a copy of his valid state-issued ID. 133 00:07:53,053 --> 00:07:55,803 He doesn't have a valid state ID. 134 00:07:55,887 --> 00:07:58,928 Okay, then copies of two utility bills in his name. 135 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,553 All right, then he's gonna have to come in and sign this form 136 00:08:01,636 --> 00:08:03,137 attesting to his residence. 137 00:08:04,678 --> 00:08:06,553 If we don't get this, I'll have to remove you from school 138 00:08:06,636 --> 00:08:08,720 while we investigate this as a fraud case. 139 00:08:08,803 --> 00:08:11,095 A vacation from this school? 140 00:08:11,179 --> 00:08:12,636 What's the downside? 141 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,304 Any student removed from school 142 00:08:14,387 --> 00:08:17,553 triggers an automatic review by CPS. 143 00:08:17,636 --> 00:08:18,761 See the downside of a month or two 144 00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:19,845 in a state-run group home? 145 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,387 - You Carl? - Yeah. 146 00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:40,803 Where are your gloves? Jesus, rookie. 147 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:43,387 Think you can sling trash without protection? 148 00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:44,970 You'll tear your hands to shreds. 149 00:08:45,053 --> 00:08:48,387 Those are just loaners, though. I want 'em back. 150 00:08:48,470 --> 00:08:50,470 What are you doing on a garbage route, kid? 151 00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:52,511 How'd you get this job? 152 00:08:52,595 --> 00:08:53,720 Someone recommended me. 153 00:08:53,803 --> 00:08:54,553 Ah. 154 00:08:54,636 --> 00:08:56,553 Friends in high places, huh? 155 00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,304 So where do we start? 156 00:08:58,387 --> 00:08:59,470 With breakfast. 157 00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:09,928 Okay, when you get home, 158 00:09:10,012 --> 00:09:11,595 here's what you're gonna want to do. 159 00:09:11,678 --> 00:09:13,262 You're gonna want to do the rice method. 160 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,262 That's where you take your entire foot 161 00:09:15,345 --> 00:09:19,012 and submerge it into a bag of rice. 162 00:09:19,095 --> 00:09:21,387 That's not it. RICE is an acronym. 163 00:09:23,595 --> 00:09:26,179 No, it's not. 164 00:09:26,262 --> 00:09:27,511 What's an acronym? 165 00:09:27,595 --> 00:09:29,304 Rest, ice, compress, elevate. 166 00:09:29,387 --> 00:09:30,678 R-I-C-E. 167 00:09:30,761 --> 00:09:32,761 One of us is a trained medical professional, 168 00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:34,678 and one of us fucked her ankle up running through a park 169 00:09:34,761 --> 00:09:36,345 trying to catch a Pokémon with her phone. 170 00:09:36,429 --> 00:09:38,220 I know who I'd trust in this situation. 171 00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:42,553 That'll be $20 for the ankle and $20 for the abortion. 172 00:09:42,636 --> 00:09:45,095 Thank you. Here, let me help you out. 173 00:09:45,179 --> 00:09:47,179 Thank you. Come again. 174 00:09:49,928 --> 00:09:51,220 - Kev. - Yeah? 175 00:09:51,304 --> 00:09:52,887 The girls made it to the next round 176 00:09:52,970 --> 00:09:55,511 of the Eldridge Academy application process. 177 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,304 We're preapproved for a full financial aid package 178 00:09:58,387 --> 00:10:01,095 if we get in, and they invited us to the charity auction. 179 00:10:01,179 --> 00:10:03,053 That's a good sign, right? 180 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:05,262 Isn't it a little early to talk about kindergarten? 181 00:10:05,345 --> 00:10:06,678 Not at all. 182 00:10:06,761 --> 00:10:09,179 It's super competitive, and it's only a year away. 183 00:10:09,262 --> 00:10:11,262 Plus, I thought you wanted us to apply. 184 00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:14,470 I did, but that's because I thought we'd be rejected... 185 00:10:14,553 --> 00:10:16,678 so the school would be the asshole and not me. 186 00:10:16,761 --> 00:10:19,345 V, wh--our girls-- 187 00:10:19,429 --> 00:10:21,262 what if they don't fit in at Eldridge? 188 00:10:21,345 --> 00:10:22,761 There's all those rich kids. 189 00:10:22,845 --> 00:10:23,970 It's diverse, 190 00:10:24,053 --> 00:10:25,761 politically progressive, and safe. 191 00:10:25,845 --> 00:10:27,511 You want the girls going to Coolidge? 192 00:10:27,595 --> 00:10:28,845 A second-grader got caught 193 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,179 going through the metal detector 194 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,220 with a machete last week. 195 00:10:31,304 --> 00:10:32,511 A machete, Kev. 196 00:10:32,595 --> 00:10:35,053 Maybe he had dense foliage to clear after school. 197 00:10:35,137 --> 00:10:36,887 We're getting the girls into Eldridge. 198 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,553 Okay. How? 199 00:10:38,636 --> 00:10:41,095 By being active, reliable, and engaged. 200 00:10:41,179 --> 00:10:43,387 That means going to everything they invite us to, 201 00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:45,553 like this auction. 202 00:10:45,636 --> 00:10:47,761 What the hell are we gonna buy at an auction? 203 00:10:47,845 --> 00:10:49,262 We don't have to buy anything. 204 00:10:49,345 --> 00:10:50,887 We just need to show up. 205 00:10:50,970 --> 00:10:53,137 I'll RSVP. 206 00:10:55,928 --> 00:10:58,511 That's not mine. 207 00:10:58,595 --> 00:11:00,678 Or that. 208 00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:04,012 Or that. 209 00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:08,304 That is definitely not mine. 210 00:11:08,387 --> 00:11:10,137 Oh, come on. 211 00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,803 Use your common sense, fellas. 212 00:11:12,887 --> 00:11:15,429 What could I even do with all those drugs? 213 00:11:15,511 --> 00:11:17,595 I admit I have a healthy appetite, 214 00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,553 but I'm only one man. 215 00:11:19,636 --> 00:11:21,012 My guess is you were gonna sell 'em. 216 00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:22,262 Ask around. 217 00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:25,636 Everyone'll tell you, I'm a user, not a dealer. 218 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,761 None of this is mine. 219 00:11:27,845 --> 00:11:29,553 It's a setup. 220 00:11:29,636 --> 00:11:31,553 It's not even my car. 221 00:11:31,636 --> 00:11:32,636 You don't say. 222 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,970 I-I do say. 223 00:11:34,053 --> 00:11:35,553 Already ran the plates, bub. 224 00:11:35,636 --> 00:11:37,887 Car was reported stolen four days ago. 225 00:11:45,345 --> 00:11:48,970 Oh, you really did a number on me, Faye. 226 00:11:56,553 --> 00:11:57,970 You want to give us a hand here? 227 00:11:58,053 --> 00:11:59,304 Not really. 228 00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,970 Breakfast is served. 229 00:12:02,053 --> 00:12:03,553 You guys eat out of the garbage? 230 00:12:03,636 --> 00:12:06,845 Hey, these bagels haven't been touched. 231 00:12:06,928 --> 00:12:08,845 End of the night, they just throw out 232 00:12:08,928 --> 00:12:10,761 whatever they didn't sell. 233 00:12:12,053 --> 00:12:14,053 Yeah, I don't know about that. 234 00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:15,511 Eat. 235 00:12:16,678 --> 00:12:19,262 We're the top garbage crew in the city, Carl. 236 00:12:19,345 --> 00:12:21,470 There's guys who worked sanitation ten years, 237 00:12:21,553 --> 00:12:23,220 die to get onto this route, 238 00:12:23,304 --> 00:12:25,095 and you just show up out of nowhere, 239 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,012 actin' like your shit don't stink, 240 00:12:27,095 --> 00:12:29,053 like you're too good to eat a Dumpster bagel. 241 00:12:29,137 --> 00:12:31,845 Strikes me as a little suspicious. 242 00:12:31,928 --> 00:12:33,095 Eat. 243 00:12:37,095 --> 00:12:39,511 Except cinnamon raisin. Those go to the boss man. 244 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,970 Jackpot. 245 00:12:44,053 --> 00:12:45,553 Low-fat garden veggie. 246 00:12:53,345 --> 00:12:56,720 Hey, man, so this, uh, Tamietti family meeting thing? 247 00:12:56,803 --> 00:12:59,387 - Yeah, we got that text, too. - Right. 248 00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:02,012 We don't actually have to-- to go, do we? 249 00:13:02,095 --> 00:13:03,887 We absolutely have to go. 250 00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:05,887 You got a kid with a Tamietti. 251 00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:07,970 Comes with certain expectations. 252 00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,928 I got a second one on the way, so I'm, like, doubly obligated. 253 00:13:11,012 --> 00:13:12,262 And the pain of sitting 254 00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:14,012 through a family meeting is nothing compared 255 00:13:14,095 --> 00:13:15,970 to the passive-aggressive ball-busting you're gonna get 256 00:13:16,053 --> 00:13:17,262 if you don't go. 257 00:13:17,345 --> 00:13:20,053 I missed a family meeting once, like, three years ago. 258 00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:22,220 They still call me "No Show Brad." 259 00:13:22,304 --> 00:13:24,387 So, uh... 260 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,179 you know, what am I supposed to do during this meeting? 261 00:13:27,262 --> 00:13:29,595 You know, do they expect me to weigh in on shit? 262 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,262 No, not really. 263 00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:33,553 No one expects you to offer up your own opinions. 264 00:13:33,636 --> 00:13:34,970 So, what, I just sit there? 265 00:13:35,053 --> 00:13:36,887 No, just support your lady. 266 00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:38,720 Nod a lot when Tami's talking 267 00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:40,511 and then repeat exactly what she says. 268 00:13:40,595 --> 00:13:42,053 Works like a charm. 269 00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:43,304 So be a yes-man. 270 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,511 - Absolutely. Yes away. - All right. 271 00:13:45,595 --> 00:13:48,720 It's the only way to survive a Tamietti relationship. 272 00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:03,803 Debbie! 273 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:06,970 Hey. 274 00:14:07,053 --> 00:14:09,595 I have a quick question. 275 00:14:09,678 --> 00:14:11,220 Do you want a job? 276 00:14:11,304 --> 00:14:14,053 Here, with me? 277 00:14:14,137 --> 00:14:15,720 Personal home assistant. 278 00:14:15,803 --> 00:14:17,595 You know, cooking, running errands, 279 00:14:17,678 --> 00:14:19,678 maybe alphabetizing hair products. 280 00:14:19,761 --> 00:14:22,304 Anything that will keep you in my house all day. 281 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,220 You don't think that'd be kind of weird, 282 00:14:25,304 --> 00:14:26,803 me working for you? 283 00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:28,220 It doesn't have to be. 284 00:14:28,304 --> 00:14:29,595 I'll pay you $30 an hour. 285 00:14:29,678 --> 00:14:31,636 And you can drive one of my cars. 286 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,304 The Audi or the, uh, Range Rover. 287 00:14:34,387 --> 00:14:35,387 You pick. 288 00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:38,470 If you can't tell by now, 289 00:14:38,553 --> 00:14:40,429 I'm, uh... 290 00:14:40,511 --> 00:14:42,220 crazy about you. 291 00:14:44,179 --> 00:14:46,053 How about I think about it? 292 00:14:46,137 --> 00:14:47,845 Yeah. No pressure. 293 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,553 But say yes. 294 00:14:50,636 --> 00:14:52,345 - Bye. - Bye. 295 00:15:06,678 --> 00:15:08,511 Shouldn't you be in school? 296 00:15:08,595 --> 00:15:11,345 Got more important stuff to do. Got to find Frank. 297 00:15:11,429 --> 00:15:12,345 Why? 298 00:15:12,429 --> 00:15:14,553 We couldn't find him for most of 2005. 299 00:15:14,636 --> 00:15:15,970 Then one day, there he was, 300 00:15:16,053 --> 00:15:17,845 passed out on the kitchen floor. 301 00:15:17,928 --> 00:15:19,678 He's like a cat. He'll be back. 302 00:15:19,761 --> 00:15:21,053 If I don't find him soon, 303 00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:23,678 they're gonna kick me out of school. 304 00:15:23,761 --> 00:15:25,470 What are you doing? 305 00:15:25,553 --> 00:15:28,304 Trying to find the right Grindr profile picture. 306 00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:30,220 None of the ones I put up got any hits. 307 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,220 Grindr? 308 00:15:31,304 --> 00:15:34,553 Aren't you still in love with Mickey? 309 00:15:34,636 --> 00:15:36,012 Yeah, I am. 310 00:15:36,095 --> 00:15:37,970 But there was the whole half-proposal thing 311 00:15:38,053 --> 00:15:40,511 and the whole "him getting a new boyfriend" thing 312 00:15:40,595 --> 00:15:41,803 and the promise-ring thing, 313 00:15:41,887 --> 00:15:43,928 and I'm desperate. 314 00:15:44,012 --> 00:15:46,262 Now I stupidly told him that I have a date for tomorrow, 315 00:15:46,345 --> 00:15:47,720 and I actually have to find one. 316 00:15:47,803 --> 00:15:49,137 Sorry I asked. 317 00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:51,387 Let me see those pictures. 318 00:15:56,345 --> 00:15:58,137 These are putting me to sleep. 319 00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,887 No one wants to date their youth pastor 320 00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:02,012 from their grandma's church. 321 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,970 - Jesus. - You considered spicing it up? 322 00:16:04,053 --> 00:16:06,220 Why not take your shirt off or something? 323 00:16:06,304 --> 00:16:08,053 I'm looking for a date, not a hookup. 324 00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:09,220 The way you're headed, 325 00:16:09,304 --> 00:16:11,470 you're not gonna get either one. 326 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,220 Give me that. 327 00:16:13,304 --> 00:16:14,928 Maybe Frank's dead. 328 00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:17,511 Better go call the morgue. 329 00:16:23,887 --> 00:16:25,803 I didn't see it coming. 330 00:16:25,887 --> 00:16:30,553 I was a fly caught in the web the entire time, 331 00:16:30,636 --> 00:16:32,304 and I didn't realize I was trapped 332 00:16:32,387 --> 00:16:35,262 until the spider was already eating me. 333 00:16:35,345 --> 00:16:38,095 You know you have the right to remain silent, right? 334 00:16:38,179 --> 00:16:40,720 Yeah, uh, I'm waiving all of that. 335 00:16:40,803 --> 00:16:42,928 Only a woman could've done this. 336 00:16:43,012 --> 00:16:46,636 Only a woman can lure you in, 337 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:50,845 make you feel like the king of the castle, 338 00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:53,845 and stab you in the back all at the same time. 339 00:16:55,429 --> 00:16:58,511 Show me your hands, please. 340 00:16:58,595 --> 00:17:00,304 No. Uh, ears. 341 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,636 You got to do my ears first, then my nose, then my mouth. 342 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,803 Shit. Sorry. I'm--I'm kind of new at this. 343 00:17:05,887 --> 00:17:07,012 Oh, that's all right, lad. 344 00:17:07,095 --> 00:17:08,470 I'll walk you through it. 345 00:17:08,553 --> 00:17:12,095 You--you want to hear the-- the real head trip, though? 346 00:17:12,179 --> 00:17:15,179 I still kind of like her. 347 00:17:15,262 --> 00:17:17,304 Her quest for revenge, 348 00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:20,553 albeit bordering on psychopathy, 349 00:17:20,636 --> 00:17:21,970 is justified. 350 00:17:22,053 --> 00:17:26,678 How can you be angry at justifiable revenge? 351 00:17:26,761 --> 00:17:28,137 You can't. 352 00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,803 And her thoroughness 353 00:17:30,887 --> 00:17:33,636 and her ruthless efficiency... 354 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,053 Ah. 355 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:38,761 ...her attention to detail, 356 00:17:38,845 --> 00:17:41,220 it's impressive, don't you think? 357 00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,678 What next? 358 00:17:44,761 --> 00:17:46,470 The scrotum. 359 00:17:46,553 --> 00:17:49,262 With the right testicular configuration, 360 00:17:49,345 --> 00:17:52,179 you can hide all kinds of things under there. 361 00:17:52,262 --> 00:17:57,095 The gooch is mankind's marsupial pouch. 362 00:17:57,179 --> 00:17:58,636 You remember that. 363 00:18:01,636 --> 00:18:05,137 You know, if--if we'd met under different circumstances 364 00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:08,095 and I never got her soul mate locked up for life, 365 00:18:08,179 --> 00:18:09,720 things could've worked out for us. 366 00:18:09,803 --> 00:18:12,511 I think this is the part where you spread your cheeks 367 00:18:12,595 --> 00:18:13,761 and...cough? 368 00:18:13,845 --> 00:18:15,470 Exactly right. You see? 369 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:18,220 You remember more than you give yourself credit for. 370 00:18:30,304 --> 00:18:32,636 Oh, she's good. 371 00:18:34,387 --> 00:18:35,887 Pay attention. 372 00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:38,053 That's overflowing. 373 00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:40,803 Yo! Car battery, paint thinner. 374 00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,887 Prohibited items and an overflowing can. 375 00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:45,053 Leave it. 376 00:18:45,137 --> 00:18:46,928 Wait. All of it? 377 00:18:47,012 --> 00:18:47,845 I mean, it's just a few things. 378 00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:48,720 We could pick through it. 379 00:18:48,803 --> 00:18:50,179 Not our job to sort, man. 380 00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,928 If we did it for 'em, how are these fucking people 381 00:18:52,012 --> 00:18:53,220 ever gonna learn? 382 00:18:53,304 --> 00:18:55,553 The only way to teach 'em-- tough love. 383 00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:56,803 Leave it. 384 00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,595 Got to bend with your knees, man. 385 00:18:58,678 --> 00:19:01,928 You only get 7,000 waist-bends in a lifetime. 386 00:19:02,012 --> 00:19:03,887 Then what happens? 387 00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:05,970 You die. 388 00:19:06,053 --> 00:19:07,429 Hey. 389 00:19:07,511 --> 00:19:09,761 My mom accidentally threw out a bunch of sneakers-- 390 00:19:09,845 --> 00:19:11,511 expensive ones I was gonna sell online. 391 00:19:11,595 --> 00:19:13,095 Sorry to hear that, kid. 392 00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:14,720 Can you help me get them out? 393 00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:15,928 Oh, no. 394 00:19:16,012 --> 00:19:17,137 Wh--why not? 395 00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:18,887 I'm just that house right down there. 396 00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:20,304 They're probably still near the top. 397 00:19:20,387 --> 00:19:21,595 Safety issue. 398 00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:22,970 Come on, bro. You're killing me. 399 00:19:23,053 --> 00:19:24,595 I'm gonna be out, like, 1,500 bucks. 400 00:19:24,678 --> 00:19:26,429 Call the sanitation department, 401 00:19:26,511 --> 00:19:30,262 tell 'em you lost something on truck 3871. 402 00:19:30,345 --> 00:19:33,970 They'll send someone to look for you. 403 00:19:34,053 --> 00:19:36,095 Yo. 404 00:19:36,179 --> 00:19:38,095 This isn't truck 3871. 405 00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:39,845 How slow are you, Carl? 406 00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,220 Like, short-bus slow, or... 407 00:19:42,304 --> 00:19:44,720 I guess regular. 408 00:19:44,803 --> 00:19:46,304 Let's go fishing. 409 00:19:49,636 --> 00:19:52,970 Chuck, step up. Step right up. 410 00:19:54,636 --> 00:19:55,803 Here you go, my friend. 411 00:19:55,887 --> 00:19:58,304 - Enjoy. - Oh... 412 00:19:58,387 --> 00:20:00,387 More where that came from. 413 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,470 Don't think Frank's dead. 414 00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:10,053 The morgue doesn't have any record of him. 415 00:20:10,137 --> 00:20:11,304 Well, don't be so sure. 416 00:20:11,387 --> 00:20:12,887 Bodies can spend weeks in Lake Michigan 417 00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:14,928 before they finally wash up on shore. 418 00:20:15,012 --> 00:20:18,137 - Maybe he's a floater. 419 00:20:18,220 --> 00:20:19,553 What's going on? 420 00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,928 That shirtless picture's getting me tons of attention. 421 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,137 - You were right. 422 00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:24,553 Of course I was. 423 00:20:24,636 --> 00:20:27,511 So was I. None of these are for dates. 424 00:20:27,595 --> 00:20:29,137 Dick pic. 425 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,304 Butthole pic. 426 00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:32,012 Offer to eat my ass. 427 00:20:32,095 --> 00:20:33,012 Dick pic. 428 00:20:33,095 --> 00:20:34,345 Orgy invite. 429 00:20:34,429 --> 00:20:35,429 Dick pic. 430 00:20:37,262 --> 00:20:38,845 Wait. No idea what that one is. 431 00:20:38,928 --> 00:20:41,137 Oh, wait. No, it's a dick. 432 00:20:42,429 --> 00:20:44,220 Hold on. 433 00:20:44,304 --> 00:20:45,511 This guy... 434 00:20:45,595 --> 00:20:46,678 Cole, 435 00:20:46,761 --> 00:20:48,179 says he's always looking for an excuse 436 00:20:48,262 --> 00:20:51,470 to put on his best outfit, and he loves live music. 437 00:20:51,553 --> 00:20:53,678 He's cute. He seems normal. 438 00:20:53,761 --> 00:20:54,970 Cool. 439 00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:57,553 Hi. 440 00:20:57,636 --> 00:21:00,511 Kevin Ball and Veronica Fisher. 441 00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:03,012 Uh, yep. You're all set. 442 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,053 You're lot 14. 443 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,095 Excuse me? 444 00:21:05,179 --> 00:21:06,678 Lot 14. The auction. 445 00:21:06,761 --> 00:21:08,053 Lot 14? 446 00:21:08,137 --> 00:21:10,387 That's when you'll get up onstage to be auctioned. 447 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,012 - We're being auctioned? - Mm-hmm. 448 00:21:12,095 --> 00:21:15,803 V, V, we need to get out of here right now. 449 00:21:15,887 --> 00:21:17,304 I've seen this in movies. 450 00:21:17,387 --> 00:21:18,887 Before you know it, we're gonna be in the woods, 451 00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:20,220 and we're gonna be chased down by rich dudes 452 00:21:20,304 --> 00:21:21,220 that hunt humans for sport. 453 00:21:21,304 --> 00:21:22,304 Look, sweetie, 454 00:21:22,387 --> 00:21:23,761 I shouldn't have to explain to you 455 00:21:23,845 --> 00:21:25,928 the problem of telling a woman who looks like me 456 00:21:26,012 --> 00:21:27,720 that she's up for auction. 457 00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:29,053 Oh... 458 00:21:30,345 --> 00:21:32,553 This is a date-night fund-raising auction. 459 00:21:32,636 --> 00:21:34,137 Applicant parents are auct-- 460 00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:35,012 Did you say "African"? 461 00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:36,304 Uh, no. 462 00:21:36,387 --> 00:21:40,220 No, um, applicant parents are auctioned off. 463 00:21:40,304 --> 00:21:42,262 Once the parents that buy you get to know you, 464 00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:44,678 they report back, let us know if you're a good fit 465 00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:46,595 for the Eldridge community. 466 00:21:46,678 --> 00:21:49,137 The email explained everything. 467 00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:52,887 When you RSVP'd, you agreed to participate. 468 00:21:52,970 --> 00:21:54,470 - Right. Got it. 469 00:21:54,553 --> 00:21:56,220 Sorry for the confusion. 470 00:21:59,803 --> 00:22:01,429 Hi. 471 00:22:01,511 --> 00:22:04,511 We need to get out of here while we still have a chance. 472 00:22:07,553 --> 00:22:10,012 No Show Brad showed. 473 00:22:10,095 --> 00:22:11,803 Guys, it's a Christmas miracle. 474 00:22:11,887 --> 00:22:13,095 Thank you. Thank you. 475 00:22:13,179 --> 00:22:14,345 - Thank you. - All right, all right. 476 00:22:14,429 --> 00:22:15,678 Everybody quiet down. 477 00:22:15,761 --> 00:22:17,636 Let's get this meeting started. 478 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,053 First, the bad news. 479 00:22:20,137 --> 00:22:22,720 Oopie and I discovered Nana 480 00:22:22,803 --> 00:22:24,595 wandering the streets of Milwaukee. 481 00:22:24,678 --> 00:22:27,470 She was barefoot, disoriented, 482 00:22:27,553 --> 00:22:29,220 and by the time we caught up with her, 483 00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:30,678 she kept calling me Bing, 484 00:22:30,761 --> 00:22:34,012 and she just wanted to sing Christmas carols with Oopie. 485 00:22:34,095 --> 00:22:35,928 We made the tough choice 486 00:22:36,012 --> 00:22:37,970 of putting her in a nursing home. 487 00:22:38,053 --> 00:22:40,470 I told you we should've put her in a home years ago. 488 00:22:40,553 --> 00:22:43,137 I mean, thank God we found her when we did. 489 00:22:43,220 --> 00:22:45,636 We really should've put her in that home five years ago. 490 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:46,887 Now for the good news. 491 00:22:46,970 --> 00:22:49,511 Nana's house is empty, no mortgage. 492 00:22:49,595 --> 00:22:51,470 We could rent it out. 493 00:22:51,553 --> 00:22:53,761 One of my clients did that when her grandpa passed, 494 00:22:53,845 --> 00:22:55,803 and it's, like, free money every month. 495 00:22:55,887 --> 00:22:57,262 Yeah, no. 496 00:22:57,345 --> 00:22:58,845 We--we could always-- we could rent it out, you know? 497 00:22:58,928 --> 00:23:02,262 Um, Tami's client and the client's grandfather-- 498 00:23:02,345 --> 00:23:03,970 that's, you know-- you can make a lot of money. 499 00:23:04,053 --> 00:23:05,137 That way--free money. 500 00:23:05,220 --> 00:23:07,220 That's a possibility. 501 00:23:07,304 --> 00:23:11,179 Or we could walk a more Christian path. 502 00:23:11,262 --> 00:23:15,345 Maybe we should use this turn of events to demonstrate 503 00:23:15,429 --> 00:23:18,761 Jesus's love for us by helping family members 504 00:23:18,845 --> 00:23:22,053 who are living with difficult circumstances, 505 00:23:22,137 --> 00:23:26,511 like a new mom working herself to the bone to make ends meet 506 00:23:26,595 --> 00:23:29,511 or a new dad who has to cram his family 507 00:23:29,595 --> 00:23:33,179 into a tiny, decrepit RV in the backyard. 508 00:23:33,262 --> 00:23:34,970 That's one idea, 509 00:23:35,053 --> 00:23:37,761 an idea I am in favor of. 510 00:23:37,845 --> 00:23:40,636 So, if anyone has a problem with our suggestion, 511 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,304 now's the time to speak up. 512 00:23:42,387 --> 00:23:46,511 If anyone has an issue with us doing what's right, 513 00:23:46,595 --> 00:23:50,012 walking the path our Lord and Savior has laid out for us, 514 00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:52,720 helping those less fortunate than us, 515 00:23:52,803 --> 00:23:55,304 speak now. 516 00:23:55,387 --> 00:23:57,595 W-- 517 00:23:57,678 --> 00:23:58,761 So you're saying that-- 518 00:23:58,845 --> 00:24:01,220 We're giving you Nana's house, sweetheart, 519 00:24:01,304 --> 00:24:04,137 while you get back on your feet. 520 00:24:08,053 --> 00:24:10,053 So you're doing the mom and the daughter? 521 00:24:10,137 --> 00:24:11,262 'Cause that's hot. 522 00:24:11,345 --> 00:24:12,636 No, it's not. 523 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,720 - It's going south fast. - You're going south fast. 524 00:24:15,803 --> 00:24:18,928 No, I'm serious. It's stressing me out. 525 00:24:19,012 --> 00:24:20,887 I almost got busted this morning. 526 00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:23,220 I'm starting to feel really guilty about this whole thing. 527 00:24:23,304 --> 00:24:24,720 No way, girl! 528 00:24:24,803 --> 00:24:27,137 I hooked up with a father and son once--it was awesome. 529 00:24:27,220 --> 00:24:29,678 One of them is the baby daddy of my third daughter, 530 00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:32,220 and I have no clue which one. 531 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,179 Why don't you just take a paternity test? 532 00:24:34,262 --> 00:24:36,053 I just never had to, 'cause, like, 533 00:24:36,137 --> 00:24:38,595 the dad was so afraid of the wife finding out 534 00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:40,429 that he just gave me more child support 535 00:24:40,511 --> 00:24:42,387 than the son ever could, so... 536 00:24:42,470 --> 00:24:45,012 So is that child support or hush money? 537 00:24:46,678 --> 00:24:48,345 I mean, what's the difference? 538 00:24:48,429 --> 00:24:49,803 Claudia, the mom, 539 00:24:49,887 --> 00:24:52,053 she wants to pay me 30 bucks an hour 540 00:24:52,137 --> 00:24:53,970 to basically just sit around the house all day 541 00:24:54,053 --> 00:24:55,595 and cook a little, clean, 542 00:24:55,678 --> 00:24:57,304 run some errands. 543 00:24:57,387 --> 00:25:00,262 Girl, I have done way worse for $30, okay? 544 00:25:00,345 --> 00:25:03,053 I have done...some foot stuff. 545 00:25:03,137 --> 00:25:05,304 Like, a lot of foot stuff. 546 00:25:06,678 --> 00:25:10,845 Yeah, so it's not really just about the money for me. 547 00:25:10,928 --> 00:25:12,845 The daughter, I don't know. 548 00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:15,970 She's really fun and creative and smart 549 00:25:16,053 --> 00:25:18,262 and surprisingly super bendy. 550 00:25:18,345 --> 00:25:19,928 I'm so confused. 551 00:25:20,012 --> 00:25:21,803 How is this even a conversation? 552 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:25,095 You dump the kid, and you stick with the money. 553 00:25:28,179 --> 00:25:30,304 And after that, we'll go back to our house, 554 00:25:30,387 --> 00:25:31,761 grill up some steaks, 555 00:25:31,845 --> 00:25:33,928 watch an action movie of your choice 556 00:25:34,012 --> 00:25:37,053 on our state-of-the-art basement home theater. 557 00:25:37,137 --> 00:25:38,845 Steaks and action movies. 558 00:25:38,928 --> 00:25:40,179 Who doesn't love that? 559 00:25:40,262 --> 00:25:41,887 All right, let's start the bidding at $300. 560 00:25:41,970 --> 00:25:43,429 - Do we have $300? - $300. 561 00:25:43,511 --> 00:25:44,761 $300, all right. $400, $400? 562 00:25:44,845 --> 00:25:46,095 What about $500? 563 00:25:46,179 --> 00:25:47,720 - $500. - $500. $500--we've got $500. 564 00:25:47,803 --> 00:25:49,595 $550. $550 going once. 565 00:25:49,678 --> 00:25:51,636 $550 going twice. 566 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,262 - Sold, $550. 567 00:25:54,345 --> 00:25:57,511 All right, Please welcome the next couple up for auction, 568 00:25:57,595 --> 00:25:59,345 lot number 14, 569 00:25:59,429 --> 00:26:01,845 prospective parents from the South Side, 570 00:26:01,928 --> 00:26:05,220 Veronica Fisher and Kevin Ball. 571 00:26:05,304 --> 00:26:07,053 - Hi. 572 00:26:07,137 --> 00:26:10,845 Hi, I'm Veronica. This is Kevin. 573 00:26:10,928 --> 00:26:15,053 We're the Balls, and, uh, we are small-business owners, 574 00:26:15,137 --> 00:26:17,304 and we can offer you guys 575 00:26:17,387 --> 00:26:21,928 a night of free drinking in our humble little bar. 576 00:26:23,970 --> 00:26:27,053 We also have a newly established medical practice, 577 00:26:27,137 --> 00:26:28,887 where we could offer you and your daughters 578 00:26:28,970 --> 00:26:30,095 unlimited abo-- 579 00:26:33,095 --> 00:26:35,429 I also can provide you with a personalized workout. 580 00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:38,470 Uh, V and I are in pretty good shape, so... 581 00:26:41,429 --> 00:26:42,970 Take it off! 582 00:26:44,595 --> 00:26:46,012 All right, a day of drinking 583 00:26:46,095 --> 00:26:48,553 followed by a personal workout-- 584 00:26:48,636 --> 00:26:50,220 Okay, Magic Mike. 585 00:26:50,304 --> 00:26:52,470 Let's start the bidding at $50. 586 00:26:52,553 --> 00:26:55,470 Do we have $50? All right, $100, $100. 587 00:26:55,553 --> 00:26:58,761 - Do we have-- - $5,000. 588 00:27:00,595 --> 00:27:03,678 $5,000? Is that what-- 589 00:27:05,511 --> 00:27:08,928 $5,000. 590 00:27:30,845 --> 00:27:32,678 Can we please move away from the truck? 591 00:27:32,761 --> 00:27:33,928 You get used to it. 592 00:27:34,012 --> 00:27:35,095 - Really? - This? 593 00:27:35,179 --> 00:27:36,761 This is about as good as it gets. 594 00:27:36,845 --> 00:27:38,511 It's not even hot out. 595 00:27:38,595 --> 00:27:40,678 You should smell this shit in July. Whoo! 596 00:27:40,761 --> 00:27:41,845 Remember that time we ate Indian food 597 00:27:41,928 --> 00:27:42,845 with the corpse in the truck? 598 00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:44,553 60% decomposed. 599 00:27:44,636 --> 00:27:46,429 When the compactor hit it--splat! 600 00:27:46,511 --> 00:27:48,720 - Like tomatoes. - Still finished our marsala. 601 00:27:50,636 --> 00:27:53,137 - We're finishing up. 602 00:27:53,220 --> 00:27:55,803 Give us a second. We'll move. 603 00:27:57,636 --> 00:27:59,928 All right, all right. Hold your horses. 604 00:28:01,262 --> 00:28:03,137 Move it up, move it up. 605 00:28:05,179 --> 00:28:07,345 Got a man in a hurry. 606 00:28:14,761 --> 00:28:17,678 Come on back. Cut it hard. 607 00:28:35,595 --> 00:28:37,511 - That's awesome. - Oh! 608 00:28:39,970 --> 00:28:41,845 Fuck that guy. Whoo. 609 00:28:46,761 --> 00:28:48,887 You got five minutes. 610 00:28:51,761 --> 00:28:53,262 I told them we were married. 611 00:28:53,345 --> 00:28:55,470 Slipped 'em 50 to bring you to me. 612 00:28:55,553 --> 00:28:57,345 Well, you wasted your money, 613 00:28:57,429 --> 00:28:59,220 'cause I'm not talking to you. 614 00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:01,887 This is how it had to be, Frank. 615 00:29:03,678 --> 00:29:04,720 I need you to understand 616 00:29:04,803 --> 00:29:08,137 exactly what's gonna happen and why. 617 00:29:08,220 --> 00:29:10,304 They found enough prescription pills on you 618 00:29:10,387 --> 00:29:12,928 to put you away for 30 years. 619 00:29:13,012 --> 00:29:14,970 I expect you'll spend the rest of your life 620 00:29:15,053 --> 00:29:17,345 in a maximum-security prison, 621 00:29:17,429 --> 00:29:20,095 just like my dear, sweet Kyle. 622 00:29:20,179 --> 00:29:21,511 Any way around it? 623 00:29:21,595 --> 00:29:23,012 Justice is justice, 624 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:26,387 and you got what you deserve. 625 00:29:28,179 --> 00:29:30,553 Will you come visit me in the big house? 626 00:29:34,803 --> 00:29:38,220 Take care of yourself, Frank. 627 00:29:38,304 --> 00:29:40,137 I left you a little something. 628 00:29:58,678 --> 00:30:00,553 - Hey. - Hey. 629 00:30:06,761 --> 00:30:09,179 My dad wanted me to give you these. 630 00:30:11,595 --> 00:30:14,387 Oh, uh, to your grandma's house. 631 00:30:14,470 --> 00:30:15,720 He made copies 632 00:30:15,803 --> 00:30:17,887 as soon as the hardware store opened today. 633 00:30:17,970 --> 00:30:19,179 Cool. 634 00:30:26,012 --> 00:30:28,429 So...you want to go see it? 635 00:30:30,220 --> 00:30:32,262 What, the house? 636 00:30:32,345 --> 00:30:34,429 I mean, it's as good a time as any. 637 00:30:36,470 --> 00:30:37,511 Yeah, no. 638 00:30:37,595 --> 00:30:39,845 I mean, I just started working on this, so... 639 00:30:42,304 --> 00:30:44,845 Work the only thing keeping you from going? 640 00:30:44,928 --> 00:30:46,970 Well, yeah, work and, uh... 641 00:30:47,053 --> 00:30:49,304 the fact that it's in Wisconsin. 642 00:30:49,387 --> 00:30:51,761 You know, "I live in Wisconsin." 643 00:30:51,845 --> 00:30:54,511 Yeah, that--that doesn't even sound right, so... 644 00:30:55,845 --> 00:30:58,970 I'm not excited about Milwaukee either. 645 00:30:59,053 --> 00:31:01,761 But it's a free house. 646 00:31:01,845 --> 00:31:04,220 I mean, I think we got to at least check it out, right? 647 00:31:04,304 --> 00:31:06,137 I haven't even seen it in years. 648 00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:08,179 Right. 649 00:31:08,262 --> 00:31:09,220 Right. 650 00:31:11,887 --> 00:31:13,137 What's up, bro? You good? 651 00:31:13,220 --> 00:31:14,553 Never took you for a day drinker. 652 00:31:14,636 --> 00:31:15,553 Yeah, I'm good. 653 00:31:15,636 --> 00:31:17,761 Just waiting for my date to get here. 654 00:31:17,845 --> 00:31:19,429 Oh, Mickey? 655 00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:22,137 No, a new guy. Mickey and I broke up. 656 00:31:22,220 --> 00:31:23,803 Oh, no shit. 657 00:31:23,887 --> 00:31:26,220 Tired of all that Milkovich bullshit, huh? 658 00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:30,179 Hey, what do you know about rich people? 659 00:31:30,262 --> 00:31:33,012 I want to thank you for showing such interest 660 00:31:33,095 --> 00:31:35,511 in our little family and for pledging so much 661 00:31:35,595 --> 00:31:37,887 to spend the day with us-- it was very generous. 662 00:31:37,970 --> 00:31:39,304 You ever heard of hunting groups 663 00:31:39,387 --> 00:31:41,345 that track and kill people for sport? 664 00:31:41,429 --> 00:31:43,095 - Uh-- - Secret societies 665 00:31:43,179 --> 00:31:44,970 that reach the highest forms of government? 666 00:31:45,053 --> 00:31:46,887 Sex cults? Devil worshipping? 667 00:31:46,970 --> 00:31:48,095 Private islands 668 00:31:48,179 --> 00:31:49,761 that have fighting tournaments to the death? 669 00:31:49,845 --> 00:31:51,012 Human traffic-- 670 00:31:51,095 --> 00:31:53,678 Can't say I've heard of any of that, man. 671 00:31:53,761 --> 00:31:55,928 - Holler if you need me. - Sure. 672 00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,137 So a little bit about our girls. 673 00:31:59,220 --> 00:32:00,803 They are natural learners. 674 00:32:00,887 --> 00:32:03,012 They know all of their letters and numbers, 675 00:32:03,095 --> 00:32:05,220 and I bet they'll be reading any day now. 676 00:32:05,304 --> 00:32:09,012 Your patrons are fascinating. 677 00:32:09,095 --> 00:32:10,595 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 678 00:32:10,678 --> 00:32:13,429 They're just regular workin' folk. 679 00:32:13,511 --> 00:32:15,304 - So back to the girls-- - Excuse me. 680 00:32:15,387 --> 00:32:17,220 But how can they be working 681 00:32:17,304 --> 00:32:21,095 if they are here in the day at your bar, drinking? 682 00:32:22,470 --> 00:32:25,220 Night shift? I don't know. 683 00:32:25,304 --> 00:32:27,345 You're here in the middle of the day, right? 684 00:32:27,429 --> 00:32:31,470 Yes, of course, but we are incredibly wealthy. 685 00:32:31,553 --> 00:32:33,678 What are we drinking? 686 00:32:33,761 --> 00:32:35,720 French 75. 687 00:32:35,803 --> 00:32:37,262 Never heard of it. 688 00:32:38,970 --> 00:32:41,137 - Caipirinha. - Cappa-what? 689 00:32:41,220 --> 00:32:43,636 Sazerac? Negroni? Um... 690 00:32:45,387 --> 00:32:48,137 Okay. A La Paloma, hmm? 691 00:32:49,262 --> 00:32:52,720 No-zerac, No-groni, and La Pa-nopa. 692 00:32:52,803 --> 00:32:54,304 The only fancy thing we got back there 693 00:32:54,387 --> 00:32:55,553 is a bottle of "Cream de Mint," 694 00:32:55,636 --> 00:32:57,095 but that came with the place when we bought it. 695 00:32:57,179 --> 00:32:58,220 We got beer, 696 00:32:58,304 --> 00:32:59,720 and we got alcohol from the bottle. 697 00:32:59,803 --> 00:33:01,595 Well, here's an idea. 698 00:33:01,678 --> 00:33:02,928 Let's skip the bar 699 00:33:03,012 --> 00:33:06,262 and reconvene at your house after the sun sets. 700 00:33:06,345 --> 00:33:08,095 That way, we can discuss your application 701 00:33:08,179 --> 00:33:10,470 and, uh, get to know each other 702 00:33:10,553 --> 00:33:13,803 in a more... intimate setting. 703 00:33:13,887 --> 00:33:14,928 Huh? 704 00:33:21,304 --> 00:33:22,553 Right? 705 00:33:22,636 --> 00:33:23,720 Why are we laughing? 706 00:33:23,803 --> 00:33:25,095 I don't know. Just go with it. 707 00:33:35,761 --> 00:33:37,553 Where Ian Gallagher at? 708 00:33:44,304 --> 00:33:46,095 Hi. 709 00:33:46,179 --> 00:33:48,595 - Oh. Hey. 710 00:33:48,678 --> 00:33:51,887 Bitch, why are you babysitting that drink? 711 00:33:51,970 --> 00:33:53,137 Are we gonna pregame 712 00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:55,928 before we get all musical and shit or what? 713 00:33:56,012 --> 00:33:58,928 Bartender! Bartender! 714 00:33:59,012 --> 00:34:02,053 I'm gonna need a round of Henny immediately, 715 00:34:02,137 --> 00:34:03,387 like, immediately. 716 00:34:04,803 --> 00:34:06,636 Let's get turnt in this motherfucker. 717 00:34:09,970 --> 00:34:12,636 I know you're worried about our age difference, 718 00:34:12,720 --> 00:34:14,304 you know, about my mom, 719 00:34:14,387 --> 00:34:17,012 but the chemistry we have between us... 720 00:34:17,095 --> 00:34:19,803 it's crazy, right? 721 00:34:19,887 --> 00:34:21,262 Yeah, it is. 722 00:34:21,345 --> 00:34:22,387 I-I know it's early, 723 00:34:22,470 --> 00:34:25,053 but I think this could be the real thing, 724 00:34:25,137 --> 00:34:28,470 and if it is, just fuck all the other stuff. 725 00:34:28,553 --> 00:34:30,761 You know? That's just noise. 726 00:34:30,845 --> 00:34:33,761 We can't let noise get in the way of what this could be. 727 00:34:33,845 --> 00:34:36,595 Uh, Julia, what is with all these signs? 728 00:34:38,220 --> 00:34:40,345 Oh, my God. 729 00:34:40,429 --> 00:34:42,720 Is this a promposal? 730 00:34:47,095 --> 00:34:48,970 Okay, Mr. Gallagher. 731 00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:51,220 You've heard the charges against you. 732 00:34:51,304 --> 00:34:53,553 What's your plea? 733 00:34:53,636 --> 00:34:55,053 I plead not guilty. 734 00:34:55,137 --> 00:34:56,345 I was framed. 735 00:34:56,429 --> 00:34:58,887 Humor me, Mr. Gallagher. 736 00:34:58,970 --> 00:35:01,179 Who framed you? 737 00:35:07,179 --> 00:35:08,220 Okay, then. 738 00:35:08,304 --> 00:35:10,095 Let's schedule the preliminary hearing. 739 00:35:10,179 --> 00:35:11,262 My calendar? 740 00:35:11,345 --> 00:35:12,553 It was the drug companies. 741 00:35:12,636 --> 00:35:13,928 Excuse me? 742 00:35:14,012 --> 00:35:15,595 The companies that made the pills-- 743 00:35:15,678 --> 00:35:17,429 they're the ones who set me up. 744 00:35:17,511 --> 00:35:19,636 A guy like me, 745 00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:22,761 a father of five-- uh, six-- 746 00:35:22,845 --> 00:35:25,595 struggling with addiction all his life? 747 00:35:25,678 --> 00:35:27,304 I never stood a chance. 748 00:35:27,387 --> 00:35:29,137 It's entrapment, Your Honor, 749 00:35:29,220 --> 00:35:30,928 pharmaceutical entrapment. 750 00:35:31,012 --> 00:35:32,053 It's the corporations-- 751 00:35:32,137 --> 00:35:33,345 Let me get this straight. 752 00:35:33,429 --> 00:35:35,511 You think that a company that doesn't know you from Adam 753 00:35:35,595 --> 00:35:37,387 should be the one standing here today 754 00:35:37,470 --> 00:35:40,928 instead of you, a criminal, 755 00:35:41,012 --> 00:35:44,345 whose record dates back to the Nixon administration? 756 00:35:46,262 --> 00:35:49,095 That's not the way I would've phrased it, but, yes. 757 00:35:49,179 --> 00:35:50,553 More or less, yes. 758 00:35:50,636 --> 00:35:51,720 Okay. 759 00:35:51,803 --> 00:35:53,345 Well, let me elucidate you 760 00:35:53,429 --> 00:35:56,553 on the perspective of this court, Mr. Gallagher. 761 00:35:58,636 --> 00:36:00,095 I agree with you. 762 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,928 I grew up on the South Side of Chicago. 763 00:36:05,012 --> 00:36:06,262 I have friends and family 764 00:36:06,345 --> 00:36:08,511 whose whole lives were turned upside down 765 00:36:08,595 --> 00:36:11,470 just 'cause they had a couple of crack rocks in their pocket. 766 00:36:11,553 --> 00:36:13,803 My own brother did ten years 767 00:36:13,887 --> 00:36:16,262 on some trumped-up possession charge. 768 00:36:16,345 --> 00:36:18,636 That is a crying shame. 769 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:21,429 Your Honor, I don't mean to speak out of turn, 770 00:36:21,511 --> 00:36:25,220 but what exactly did the War on Drugs get us, 771 00:36:25,304 --> 00:36:27,803 other than generations of locked-up parents 772 00:36:27,887 --> 00:36:29,803 away from families who needed them? 773 00:36:29,887 --> 00:36:30,887 Mm-hmm. 774 00:36:30,970 --> 00:36:33,179 Why repeat the same cycle? 775 00:36:35,262 --> 00:36:38,053 Why tear Mr. Gallagher away from his kids? 776 00:36:38,137 --> 00:36:41,553 Why punish a fellow citizen who has a problem? 777 00:36:41,636 --> 00:36:43,678 An illness, Your Honor. 778 00:36:43,761 --> 00:36:46,845 An illness foisted on me by greedy drug companies. 779 00:36:46,928 --> 00:36:50,761 I've never heard of an illness best cured by prison. 780 00:36:50,845 --> 00:36:53,470 Me neither. Have you, Mr. McClatchy? 781 00:36:56,636 --> 00:36:59,429 No, ma'am. 782 00:36:59,511 --> 00:37:01,761 The district attorney and the citizens of Chicago 783 00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:03,928 agree with you, Your Honor. 784 00:37:04,012 --> 00:37:07,761 I think we all desire a new approach. 785 00:37:07,845 --> 00:37:09,345 Uh, Your Honor, 786 00:37:09,429 --> 00:37:12,095 all due deference and with respect, 787 00:37:12,179 --> 00:37:14,887 but maybe it's time for you to be the change 788 00:37:14,970 --> 00:37:17,511 you want to see in the world. 789 00:37:17,595 --> 00:37:20,095 Don't push it, Mr. Gallagher. 790 00:37:21,429 --> 00:37:24,429 Without any objections from the prosecution, 791 00:37:24,511 --> 00:37:28,553 I believe that a pre-trial intervention is appropriate. 792 00:37:28,636 --> 00:37:31,179 Mr. Gallagher... 793 00:37:32,678 --> 00:37:34,095 ...the Court hereby orders you 794 00:37:34,179 --> 00:37:37,012 to complete 100 hours of community service 795 00:37:37,095 --> 00:37:38,179 and a court-approved 796 00:37:38,262 --> 00:37:41,095 residential addiction therapy program. 797 00:37:41,179 --> 00:37:42,887 All rise. 798 00:37:42,970 --> 00:37:45,511 Thank you, Your Honor. Thank you. 799 00:37:45,595 --> 00:37:47,511 Hey. 800 00:37:58,429 --> 00:38:00,553 About Lorne and Delphine coming over tonight, 801 00:38:00,636 --> 00:38:01,761 I'm starting to think they might be-- 802 00:38:01,845 --> 00:38:02,887 They're swingers? 803 00:38:02,970 --> 00:38:04,845 Why else would they pay $5,000 to date us 804 00:38:04,928 --> 00:38:06,470 if they didn't expect sex? 805 00:38:06,553 --> 00:38:08,262 And at this point, the only way our daughters 806 00:38:08,345 --> 00:38:11,095 are gonna get into Eldridge is by engaging in a night 807 00:38:11,179 --> 00:38:13,304 of extremely perverted wife-swapping. 808 00:38:14,678 --> 00:38:16,429 So I guess we should cancel. 809 00:38:16,511 --> 00:38:18,304 - It's a shame. 810 00:38:18,387 --> 00:38:19,720 Without Eldridge, our girls 811 00:38:19,803 --> 00:38:21,220 are gonna be putting their life on the line 812 00:38:21,304 --> 00:38:23,470 every day in public school. 813 00:38:23,553 --> 00:38:26,429 I mean, unless... 814 00:38:26,511 --> 00:38:28,636 Unless what? 815 00:38:29,678 --> 00:38:30,887 Swinging? 816 00:38:30,970 --> 00:38:33,262 It wouldn't be the freakiest thing we've ever done. 817 00:38:33,345 --> 00:38:34,636 And she's French. 818 00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:37,595 So, in Europe, it's probably pretty normal, right? 819 00:38:37,678 --> 00:38:39,179 Are you saying we should do it? 820 00:38:39,262 --> 00:38:41,012 I'm--no, I'm-- I'm saying maybe-- 821 00:38:42,179 --> 00:38:44,928 Eldridge is awesome. 822 00:38:45,012 --> 00:38:48,095 I think Scottie Pippen's kids went to Eldridge. 823 00:38:48,179 --> 00:38:50,262 Rumor has it Brian Urlacher's did, too. 824 00:38:50,345 --> 00:38:52,429 It doesn't get cooler than that. 825 00:38:52,511 --> 00:38:54,761 So you would do it? Swing with them? 826 00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,220 All right, this feels like a trap. 827 00:38:58,304 --> 00:38:59,970 It's not. 828 00:39:00,053 --> 00:39:03,387 You know I would do anything for you and the girls. 829 00:39:03,470 --> 00:39:06,012 So, if you want me to bang some extremely hot French lady, 830 00:39:06,095 --> 00:39:08,137 I will, I guess. 831 00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:11,970 And I guess... I could stomach 832 00:39:12,053 --> 00:39:14,012 letting some living Ken doll clap my cakes-- 833 00:39:14,095 --> 00:39:15,012 for the girls, of course. 834 00:39:15,095 --> 00:39:17,053 - Clap your what? - I don't know. 835 00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:20,429 I used to spend a month each summer 836 00:39:20,511 --> 00:39:21,761 visiting Nana in Milwaukee. 837 00:39:21,845 --> 00:39:22,595 - Yeah? - Yeah. 838 00:39:22,678 --> 00:39:23,720 When I was nine, 839 00:39:23,803 --> 00:39:26,220 this drive felt like it took forever. 840 00:39:26,304 --> 00:39:28,304 I mean, I would've told you that it would take all day, 841 00:39:28,387 --> 00:39:29,470 but look. 842 00:39:29,553 --> 00:39:32,511 GPS says two hours. 843 00:39:32,595 --> 00:39:34,595 It takes longer to get across town in traffic. 844 00:39:34,678 --> 00:39:38,053 - That's not so bad, right? - No. No, it's not bad. 845 00:39:52,220 --> 00:39:53,678 Yo, how long are we standing around 846 00:39:53,761 --> 00:39:54,970 until you tell me what we're doing? 847 00:39:55,053 --> 00:39:57,595 - We're waiting. - For what? 848 00:39:57,678 --> 00:39:59,053 For that. 849 00:40:09,636 --> 00:40:10,928 Hey, boss. 850 00:40:11,012 --> 00:40:12,845 Fellas. 851 00:40:12,928 --> 00:40:15,845 So what do you guys say we check out this open house? 852 00:40:15,928 --> 00:40:18,137 Hmm? 853 00:40:18,220 --> 00:40:20,429 You stay. Watch the truck. 854 00:40:40,387 --> 00:40:43,678 What the fuck? 855 00:40:46,803 --> 00:40:48,220 - Hey. - No, don't touch me. 856 00:40:48,304 --> 00:40:49,845 Okay. 857 00:40:49,928 --> 00:40:52,304 We let things get out of hand. 858 00:40:52,387 --> 00:40:54,345 It was fun while it lasted. 859 00:40:54,429 --> 00:40:57,429 But I can't go to a school dance with you. 860 00:40:57,511 --> 00:40:58,803 That's just not possible, Julia. 861 00:40:58,887 --> 00:41:00,887 It would be possible... 862 00:41:00,970 --> 00:41:04,553 if you liked me as much as I like you. 863 00:41:04,636 --> 00:41:06,220 I'm sleeping with your mom, Julia. 864 00:41:06,304 --> 00:41:07,720 So dump her! 865 00:41:07,803 --> 00:41:10,595 I can't afford that right now-- emotionally. 866 00:41:10,678 --> 00:41:13,220 Do you love her? 867 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:15,636 I'm growing to care for her. 868 00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:17,511 But she's so old! 869 00:41:17,595 --> 00:41:20,595 She watches "60 Minutes." 870 00:41:20,678 --> 00:41:23,803 She bleaches her mustache. 871 00:41:23,887 --> 00:41:26,262 She lasers the varicose veins in her legs. 872 00:41:26,345 --> 00:41:28,511 Have you seen her calves? 873 00:41:28,595 --> 00:41:31,761 They're a fucking subway map. 874 00:41:33,761 --> 00:41:35,845 What do you even see in her? 875 00:41:38,511 --> 00:41:40,304 I'm gonna threaten to kill myself. 876 00:41:40,387 --> 00:41:41,887 You're gonna threaten, 877 00:41:41,970 --> 00:41:43,429 or you're gonna actually try to kill yourself? 878 00:41:43,511 --> 00:41:46,012 I hate you! 879 00:41:52,053 --> 00:41:54,595 Mr. Gallagher, welcome to Placid Journeys. 880 00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:56,970 I'm Mora. I run the place. 881 00:41:57,053 --> 00:41:59,803 Over that way is the spa and the meditation room. 882 00:41:59,887 --> 00:42:02,636 Down there is the kitchen with our 24-hour onsite chef. 883 00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:05,470 Now, she specializes in farm-to-table. 884 00:42:05,553 --> 00:42:07,012 It's parsnip season. 885 00:42:07,095 --> 00:42:08,803 You like parsnips? 886 00:42:08,887 --> 00:42:10,761 As much as the next fella, I guess. 887 00:42:10,845 --> 00:42:12,720 - Mm. - So... 888 00:42:12,803 --> 00:42:14,928 what do you guys have on tap here? 889 00:42:15,012 --> 00:42:15,761 Methadone? 890 00:42:15,845 --> 00:42:18,595 This is behavioral therapy. 891 00:42:18,678 --> 00:42:20,095 We mainly just talk. 892 00:42:20,179 --> 00:42:22,137 Jesus. Really? 893 00:42:22,220 --> 00:42:24,720 You like smoothies? 894 00:42:24,803 --> 00:42:26,511 Come on. 895 00:42:26,595 --> 00:42:28,636 I got to say, this is nothing like 896 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:32,053 the rehab facility I was sent to back in the day. 897 00:42:32,137 --> 00:42:33,470 And I can't help but notice 898 00:42:33,553 --> 00:42:35,220 that the demographics have changed. 899 00:42:35,304 --> 00:42:39,095 - Everybody here is-- - Young, white, rich. 900 00:42:39,179 --> 00:42:40,761 It's the opioid epidemic. 901 00:42:40,845 --> 00:42:42,304 Doctors spent years 902 00:42:42,387 --> 00:42:44,553 under-prescribing black people pain medication, 903 00:42:44,636 --> 00:42:46,761 so they never had a chance to get addicted, 904 00:42:46,845 --> 00:42:48,678 and they don't wind up here. 905 00:42:48,761 --> 00:42:50,470 All that oppression, and you don't even get 906 00:42:50,553 --> 00:42:52,845 a shot at a good doctor-prescribed high? 907 00:42:52,928 --> 00:42:54,845 Meanwhile... 908 00:42:54,928 --> 00:42:57,179 a white cheerleader sprains an ankle, 909 00:42:57,262 --> 00:42:59,928 and she gets prescribed a 90-day supply of Oxy 910 00:43:00,012 --> 00:43:01,678 - with six refills. 911 00:43:01,761 --> 00:43:03,429 - What are you gonna do? - Hmm. 912 00:43:30,511 --> 00:43:31,761 Well, it's clean. 913 00:43:38,053 --> 00:43:40,387 It smells like my grandma. 914 00:43:42,553 --> 00:43:45,470 I don't see anything falling down. 915 00:43:47,470 --> 00:43:49,720 Yeah, I was, uh... 916 00:43:49,803 --> 00:43:54,636 kind of expecting a crazy old cat lady hoarder house. 917 00:43:56,470 --> 00:43:58,220 I mean, this wallpaper is awful. 918 00:43:58,304 --> 00:43:59,636 We'd take that down. 919 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,387 But I mean, I don't know. 920 00:44:01,511 --> 00:44:02,720 Am I crazy? 921 00:44:02,803 --> 00:44:04,387 This isn't that bad. 922 00:44:04,470 --> 00:44:05,761 I'm gonna check out the upstairs. 923 00:44:05,845 --> 00:44:07,345 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 924 00:44:28,845 --> 00:44:31,928 - Pretty big, huh? - Yeah. 925 00:44:32,012 --> 00:44:34,511 If you wanted to keep fixing bikes on the side, 926 00:44:34,595 --> 00:44:36,928 you'd have the space. 927 00:44:37,012 --> 00:44:39,720 And I mean, I could fit a lift stand right here. 928 00:44:39,803 --> 00:44:41,761 Work bench. 929 00:44:41,845 --> 00:44:42,678 Tool cabinet. 930 00:44:42,761 --> 00:44:44,595 I could get maybe... 931 00:44:44,678 --> 00:44:47,387 maybe two bikes in here at a time, three in a pinch. 932 00:44:50,179 --> 00:44:50,928 It's nice. 933 00:44:51,012 --> 00:44:52,387 Yeah. 934 00:44:54,053 --> 00:44:55,553 - Pension? - Yeah. 935 00:44:55,636 --> 00:44:58,553 Pension, holiday, health benefits, 936 00:44:58,636 --> 00:45:00,636 maternity leave. 937 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:02,803 Well, I don't really see maternity leave 938 00:45:02,887 --> 00:45:03,887 being an issue, 939 00:45:03,970 --> 00:45:06,470 so long as you and I are exclusive. 940 00:45:06,553 --> 00:45:08,845 - But everything else... 941 00:45:08,928 --> 00:45:10,970 I'm sure we can work something out. 942 00:45:13,887 --> 00:45:16,220 I thought we were watching our carbs. 943 00:45:17,470 --> 00:45:20,553 So is that a yes to my offer? 944 00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:25,345 Julia, honey, you'd like to have Debbie around more, 945 00:45:25,429 --> 00:45:26,262 wouldn't you? 946 00:45:33,012 --> 00:45:34,429 All right, well, 947 00:45:34,511 --> 00:45:35,636 don't mind her. 948 00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:38,220 She's just mad because some boy at school 949 00:45:38,304 --> 00:45:40,387 wouldn't go to the school dance with her. 950 00:45:40,470 --> 00:45:42,970 Then she comes home, and she orders pizza, 951 00:45:43,053 --> 00:45:46,595 and it's like, the only thing more unforgiving than a scale 952 00:45:46,678 --> 00:45:49,012 is a shallow teenage boy. 953 00:45:49,095 --> 00:45:51,511 - Am I right? - Yeah. 954 00:45:51,595 --> 00:45:53,595 - Boys. Heartbreakers. 955 00:45:58,595 --> 00:45:59,470 Hey, Berto. 956 00:46:01,262 --> 00:46:03,345 - Trying to find my dad. - Yeah, good luck. 957 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:05,887 I was hoping you could help. 958 00:46:08,304 --> 00:46:09,220 How? 959 00:46:09,304 --> 00:46:10,761 He was hanging out with a Latina lady 960 00:46:10,845 --> 00:46:12,970 named Faye who owns a Rolls Royce. 961 00:46:13,053 --> 00:46:14,304 Maybe you could look her up for me? 962 00:46:14,387 --> 00:46:15,470 You sure this can't wait? 963 00:46:15,553 --> 00:46:17,012 I literally just bought this pizza, 964 00:46:17,095 --> 00:46:18,803 and it's only getting colder by the second. 965 00:46:18,887 --> 00:46:20,928 I'm desperate. 966 00:46:21,012 --> 00:46:22,887 All right, step into my office. 967 00:46:49,636 --> 00:46:52,470 We ain't got no free services, you heard? 968 00:46:52,553 --> 00:46:54,095 So give us what you owe, 969 00:46:54,179 --> 00:46:56,636 or we gonna be at every open house you got. 970 00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:57,845 - Jesus. 971 00:47:00,678 --> 00:47:01,678 I was high. 972 00:47:03,179 --> 00:47:05,220 I was on another planet, man. 973 00:47:05,304 --> 00:47:07,345 I never should've been behind the wheel, but... 974 00:47:08,720 --> 00:47:09,761 ...there I was. 975 00:47:09,845 --> 00:47:11,429 One second, I'm going the wrong way 976 00:47:11,511 --> 00:47:12,761 through a Taco Bell drive-through. 977 00:47:14,553 --> 00:47:15,803 Next second, 978 00:47:15,887 --> 00:47:17,429 I'm in a field in Indiana 979 00:47:17,511 --> 00:47:19,678 drinking milk directly from a cow's udder. 980 00:47:21,179 --> 00:47:23,262 And my dad's all like, 981 00:47:23,345 --> 00:47:25,887 "Well, that's the second Mercedes you've lost." 982 00:47:25,970 --> 00:47:27,345 And I'm like, "Well, I'm fine, Dad. 983 00:47:27,429 --> 00:47:29,553 Thanks for asking. 984 00:47:29,636 --> 00:47:32,012 The salmonella's finally cleared up." 985 00:47:34,053 --> 00:47:37,179 And then he brought me here again. 986 00:47:37,262 --> 00:47:39,636 I just think he wanted me out of the picture.... 987 00:47:41,053 --> 00:47:45,137 ...so I didn't embarrass him in front of his... 988 00:47:45,220 --> 00:47:46,803 Can't you do something for this poor kid? 989 00:47:46,887 --> 00:47:48,387 He's obviously dope sick. 990 00:47:48,470 --> 00:47:49,887 No, I can't. 991 00:47:49,970 --> 00:47:52,053 But since you took it upon yourself to interrupt him, 992 00:47:52,137 --> 00:47:53,928 perhaps you'd like to share next. 993 00:47:54,012 --> 00:47:55,012 Share what? 994 00:47:55,095 --> 00:47:57,387 Most people use their initial share 995 00:47:57,470 --> 00:47:59,262 to recount their addiction journey. 996 00:48:00,595 --> 00:48:02,179 How long is this session? 997 00:48:02,262 --> 00:48:03,845 We have two hours left, Frank. 998 00:48:03,928 --> 00:48:05,553 Just two hours, and you're wasting your time 999 00:48:05,636 --> 00:48:07,095 on amateur stuff? 1000 00:48:07,179 --> 00:48:08,595 Sorry. 1001 00:48:08,678 --> 00:48:10,511 Okay. 1002 00:48:10,595 --> 00:48:14,012 How many here have mixed a bottle of fentanyl nose spray 1003 00:48:14,095 --> 00:48:15,803 with a half-gallon of orange juice 1004 00:48:15,887 --> 00:48:17,012 and hidden in the wheel well 1005 00:48:17,095 --> 00:48:20,137 of an American Airlines flight to Rio de Janeiro? 1006 00:48:20,220 --> 00:48:21,262 Hands? 1007 00:48:22,678 --> 00:48:24,179 No one? 1008 00:48:24,262 --> 00:48:26,553 Really? 1009 00:48:26,636 --> 00:48:28,595 Okay, I think I'll start there. 1010 00:48:40,720 --> 00:48:41,720 Yes, bitch, 1011 00:48:41,803 --> 00:48:43,720 I got the card-duplication machine thingy, 1012 00:48:43,803 --> 00:48:45,511 but if you got the number and the expiration date, 1013 00:48:45,595 --> 00:48:46,845 then you're good to go. 1014 00:48:46,928 --> 00:48:48,928 Yes, spend, girl, 1015 00:48:49,012 --> 00:48:50,220 before they realize you took it. 1016 00:48:50,304 --> 00:48:51,678 And get me some boots, too. 1017 00:48:51,761 --> 00:48:53,345 Not Uggs, bitch, okay? 1018 00:48:53,470 --> 00:48:55,179 I'm not trying to look basic this fall. 1019 00:48:56,761 --> 00:48:59,595 Yes, the thievery of it all. 1020 00:48:59,678 --> 00:49:00,970 Oh, yeah. Okay. 1021 00:49:01,053 --> 00:49:02,636 I'm on a date, so I got to go. 1022 00:49:05,511 --> 00:49:07,220 You want a show? 1023 00:49:07,304 --> 00:49:09,053 Watch me walk away. 1024 00:49:11,678 --> 00:49:13,553 Ooh. 1025 00:49:17,304 --> 00:49:19,262 What the fuck is that? 1026 00:49:19,345 --> 00:49:20,761 That is Cole. 1027 00:49:20,845 --> 00:49:22,553 He's my date. 1028 00:49:22,636 --> 00:49:24,720 Uh-huh. 1029 00:49:24,803 --> 00:49:26,553 What's he doing? 1030 00:49:28,970 --> 00:49:30,636 He's getting us drinks. 1031 00:49:46,595 --> 00:49:47,970 Can I help you? 1032 00:49:50,220 --> 00:49:51,179 Hiya. 1033 00:49:51,262 --> 00:49:53,720 Thanks for having us. 1034 00:49:53,803 --> 00:49:55,429 Oh, this is our boy, Simon. 1035 00:49:55,511 --> 00:49:57,095 - Bonsoir. 1036 00:49:58,137 --> 00:49:58,928 Bonsoir. 1037 00:49:59,012 --> 00:50:00,595 C'est magnifique. 1038 00:50:02,553 --> 00:50:04,845 Can I offer you guys something to drink? 1039 00:50:04,928 --> 00:50:06,429 Soda, water? 1040 00:50:15,511 --> 00:50:17,636 What are these strange papers, Papa? 1041 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:19,470 Um... 1042 00:50:19,553 --> 00:50:21,262 good question, Simon. 1043 00:50:21,345 --> 00:50:22,511 This is, uh... 1044 00:50:22,595 --> 00:50:24,387 It's not organic. 1045 00:50:24,470 --> 00:50:26,012 I thought this was gonna be about sex. 1046 00:50:26,095 --> 00:50:27,970 Me too. I waxed. 1047 00:50:28,053 --> 00:50:30,595 But we just need to play nice and be good hosts. 1048 00:50:30,678 --> 00:50:32,137 These guys are reporting back 1049 00:50:32,220 --> 00:50:33,803 to the admissions committee, remember? 1050 00:50:36,887 --> 00:50:39,095 What is wrong, mon petite étoile? 1051 00:50:39,179 --> 00:50:42,511 You said this place would be filthy and falling apart. 1052 00:50:42,595 --> 00:50:45,429 You said there'd be insects and rats. 1053 00:50:45,511 --> 00:50:47,304 I want a rat. 1054 00:50:47,387 --> 00:50:48,636 Excuse me. 1055 00:50:48,720 --> 00:50:50,970 Where are your roaches and other vermin? 1056 00:50:51,053 --> 00:50:53,470 Yes. Can we please see them? 1057 00:50:53,553 --> 00:50:54,678 Time-out. 1058 00:50:54,761 --> 00:50:57,179 Um... 1059 00:50:57,262 --> 00:51:00,012 I thought we were gonna be... 1060 00:51:00,095 --> 00:51:01,220 you know what I mean? 1061 00:51:03,095 --> 00:51:05,887 Can you please explain to us what's going on here? 1062 00:51:07,553 --> 00:51:08,636 Well... 1063 00:51:08,720 --> 00:51:12,845 We have not been around the poor before, 1064 00:51:12,928 --> 00:51:15,720 and we wanted Simon to see how... 1065 00:51:15,803 --> 00:51:19,012 you people live. 1066 00:51:19,095 --> 00:51:21,012 We were hoping you would demonstrate to him 1067 00:51:21,095 --> 00:51:23,387 destitution and suffering. 1068 00:51:23,470 --> 00:51:25,262 To motivate him to work harder in school. 1069 00:51:25,345 --> 00:51:26,553 Mm. 1070 00:51:26,636 --> 00:51:28,678 Yes, so he will not end up in a place like this. 1071 00:51:40,470 --> 00:51:42,304 Hi. 1072 00:51:42,387 --> 00:51:43,720 Sure, come on in. 1073 00:51:45,470 --> 00:51:48,304 - How'd you know where I live? - Uh, you took the Audi. 1074 00:51:48,387 --> 00:51:50,845 I tracked the GPS. 1075 00:51:50,928 --> 00:51:53,803 This place is a dump. 1076 00:51:53,887 --> 00:51:55,803 No wonder you're taking my mom's handouts. 1077 00:51:55,887 --> 00:51:56,970 You come here to insult me? 1078 00:51:57,053 --> 00:51:58,553 No, I've given it some thought. 1079 00:51:58,636 --> 00:51:59,720 Given what some thought? 1080 00:51:59,803 --> 00:52:01,053 I've decided 1081 00:52:01,137 --> 00:52:03,595 we are going to the homecoming dance together. 1082 00:52:03,678 --> 00:52:06,220 Julia, I thought I made myself clear the first time. 1083 00:52:06,304 --> 00:52:07,887 Oh, no, you did. 1084 00:52:07,970 --> 00:52:10,387 But like I said, I've given it some thought, 1085 00:52:10,470 --> 00:52:13,179 and I've decided we're going. 1086 00:52:13,262 --> 00:52:14,429 Okay. 1087 00:52:14,511 --> 00:52:15,636 No. 1088 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:17,636 There is literally no way 1089 00:52:17,720 --> 00:52:19,511 I'm going to the homecoming dance with you. 1090 00:52:19,595 --> 00:52:21,053 And you barging in here like this, 1091 00:52:21,137 --> 00:52:22,803 it's kind of psycho, Julia. 1092 00:52:22,887 --> 00:52:24,429 It's a free country, 1093 00:52:24,511 --> 00:52:26,345 so you don't have to go. 1094 00:52:26,429 --> 00:52:27,845 But if you don't, 1095 00:52:27,928 --> 00:52:29,928 I am definitely gonna tell my mom 1096 00:52:30,012 --> 00:52:31,678 that you went down on me. 1097 00:52:31,761 --> 00:52:34,928 Three-- no, four times. 1098 00:52:35,012 --> 00:52:37,345 Is that psycho? 1099 00:52:47,928 --> 00:52:50,803 Well, I can see-- 1100 00:52:50,887 --> 00:52:52,553 ooh, and smell-- 1101 00:52:52,636 --> 00:52:55,053 that you have been working hard at sanitation. 1102 00:52:55,137 --> 00:52:56,220 Yes, sir. 1103 00:52:56,304 --> 00:52:57,470 You got five minutes. 1104 00:52:57,553 --> 00:52:59,636 My wife and I like watching that singing show 1105 00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:00,761 with the spinny chairs. 1106 00:53:00,845 --> 00:53:02,803 It's getting ready to start. 1107 00:53:02,887 --> 00:53:04,761 Sir... 1108 00:53:04,845 --> 00:53:06,970 garbage is dirty. 1109 00:53:22,845 --> 00:53:24,053 We're Imperial Mammoth. 1110 00:53:24,137 --> 00:53:25,803 We're gonna take a break, but we'll be back in ten. 1111 00:53:27,595 --> 00:53:29,761 That's some Beethoven shit, am I right? 1112 00:53:29,845 --> 00:53:31,720 All right, sir, can I have another one, please? 1113 00:53:31,803 --> 00:53:33,636 I'm gonna need, like, ten more of these bitches. 1114 00:53:33,720 --> 00:53:35,470 Yes. Hey! 1115 00:53:35,553 --> 00:53:38,304 Look, I hooked up with him once, and he moved in. 1116 00:53:38,387 --> 00:53:39,429 I didn't have a choice. 1117 00:53:39,511 --> 00:53:40,887 Now he won't go. 1118 00:53:40,970 --> 00:53:42,887 I was hoping, since I got his ex here, 1119 00:53:42,970 --> 00:53:44,803 that maybe he'd take him off my hands. 1120 00:53:44,887 --> 00:53:46,761 - Please, God. 1121 00:53:46,845 --> 00:53:48,636 So, no, he's not my boyfriend. 1122 00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:51,678 He's dumb, he's rude, he's politically ignorant, 1123 00:53:51,761 --> 00:53:54,012 he's violent, he's socially inept. 1124 00:53:54,095 --> 00:53:55,595 I don't even think he can read. 1125 00:53:55,678 --> 00:53:57,387 And he's way too aggressive in bed 1126 00:53:57,470 --> 00:53:58,511 and not in a good way. 1127 00:53:58,595 --> 00:54:00,429 All right. 1128 00:54:00,511 --> 00:54:01,803 You convinced me. 1129 00:54:01,887 --> 00:54:04,220 I'll take him off your hands. 1130 00:54:05,636 --> 00:54:07,470 Is this, uh... 1131 00:54:07,553 --> 00:54:09,429 this what you do when you don't like somebody? 1132 00:54:09,511 --> 00:54:11,887 You bash 'em behind their backs? 1133 00:54:11,970 --> 00:54:13,262 Get a good laugh at their expense 1134 00:54:13,345 --> 00:54:14,678 with your fucking friends? 1135 00:54:16,761 --> 00:54:18,761 Try to pawn 'em off to some other guy? 1136 00:54:18,845 --> 00:54:21,678 No, I--uh, I-I didn't-- I didn't m-mean that-- 1137 00:54:21,761 --> 00:54:24,511 Byron. Byron, come on. 1138 00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:27,220 I know exactly what you meant. 1139 00:54:27,304 --> 00:54:29,179 Unfortunately for you, 1140 00:54:29,262 --> 00:54:30,803 I'm not the kind of guy who lets people 1141 00:54:30,887 --> 00:54:32,387 talk shit about the man he loves, 1142 00:54:32,470 --> 00:54:34,720 so, uh--hey, can you hold these for me? 1143 00:54:34,803 --> 00:54:36,304 - Sure. - Thanks. 1144 00:54:41,053 --> 00:54:42,387 Look at my man. 1145 00:54:42,470 --> 00:54:44,262 - Don't take no shit. - Calm down. 1146 00:54:46,636 --> 00:54:49,220 I'm gonna do gymnastics on that dick tonight. 1147 00:54:49,304 --> 00:54:52,304 I'm gonna Simone Biles that dick, you know what I'm saying? 1148 00:54:56,887 --> 00:54:58,845 Hey. 1149 00:55:13,012 --> 00:55:14,553 I love you, 1150 00:55:14,636 --> 00:55:15,970 Mickey Milkovich... 1151 00:55:18,012 --> 00:55:19,345 ...more than anything. 1152 00:55:21,678 --> 00:55:23,345 And if you'll let me, 1153 00:55:23,429 --> 00:55:25,179 I-I'd like to spend the rest of my life-- 1154 00:55:25,262 --> 00:55:27,970 Jesus Christ, save the fucking speech, you pussy. 1155 00:55:29,636 --> 00:55:32,304 I'll marry you. 1156 00:55:32,387 --> 00:55:33,845 Of course I'll fucking marry you. 1157 00:55:40,012 --> 00:55:40,970 You're late. 1158 00:55:41,053 --> 00:55:42,262 You're early. 1159 00:55:42,345 --> 00:55:44,887 Just doing my part to break stereotypes. 1160 00:55:44,970 --> 00:55:46,387 What's that smell? 1161 00:55:46,470 --> 00:55:48,345 The smell of a man saving the city from corruption. 1162 00:55:48,429 --> 00:55:49,678 Ugh. 1163 00:55:49,761 --> 00:55:52,179 Since when does Lip call family meetings? 1164 00:55:52,262 --> 00:55:53,887 Does anyone know what two lesbians do 1165 00:55:53,970 --> 00:55:55,262 when they go to homecoming? 1166 00:55:55,345 --> 00:55:58,137 Do they both wear dresses? Do neither wear dresses? 1167 00:55:58,220 --> 00:55:59,887 Come on, man. 1168 00:55:59,970 --> 00:56:01,262 - Come on. - Come on. 1169 00:56:01,345 --> 00:56:03,345 Yeah, that's go-- that's gonna help you a lot. 1170 00:56:05,636 --> 00:56:07,928 - what the fuck is that smell? 1171 00:56:08,012 --> 00:56:10,511 Carl's trying to save the city. 1172 00:56:10,595 --> 00:56:14,595 Hey, everybody. Uh, thanks for coming. 1173 00:56:14,678 --> 00:56:17,304 I wanted to tell you all this in person. 1174 00:56:17,387 --> 00:56:18,553 What, you fall off the wagon? 1175 00:56:18,636 --> 00:56:19,970 - No. - You going to prison? 1176 00:56:20,053 --> 00:56:21,304 What? No. 1177 00:56:21,387 --> 00:56:22,553 Tami dumped you. 1178 00:56:22,636 --> 00:56:23,928 She's pregnant again? 1179 00:56:24,012 --> 00:56:25,678 Oh, she definitely dumped you. 1180 00:56:25,761 --> 00:56:27,470 No, will everybody just shut the fuck up? 1181 00:56:27,553 --> 00:56:29,511 Listen, please. 1182 00:56:33,928 --> 00:56:35,803 Me, Tami, and Fred are moving to Milwaukee. 1183 00:56:37,553 --> 00:56:41,511 Uh, her family gave us an old house up there, 1184 00:56:41,595 --> 00:56:43,595 and, uh, it's--it's nice. 1185 00:56:52,928 --> 00:56:55,553 It's only two hours away, you know, and it's big, 1186 00:56:55,636 --> 00:56:58,470 so you guys can all come up and visit. 1187 00:56:58,553 --> 00:57:01,012 And I'll still be around, you know, on weekends 1188 00:57:01,095 --> 00:57:05,678 and, uh, holidays and stuff like that, so... 1189 00:57:12,845 --> 00:57:14,012 Anyway, that's it. 1190 00:57:14,095 --> 00:57:16,887 That's, uh... 1191 00:57:16,970 --> 00:57:18,803 That's all I got, so... 1192 00:57:39,678 --> 00:57:40,761 Who are you? 1193 00:57:40,845 --> 00:57:42,803 I'm your Uncle Frank, 1194 00:57:42,887 --> 00:57:45,387 and I'm gonna take care of you. 1195 00:57:47,553 --> 00:57:49,137 All I need in return 1196 00:57:49,220 --> 00:57:50,511 is for your parents to make sure 1197 00:57:50,595 --> 00:57:53,803 Uncle Frank's commissary account is nice and full. 1198 00:57:53,887 --> 00:57:55,262 I wouldn't smell it.